One-sided Conversations

No matter how we try to define what love is, you’ll end up at nothing. It’s part of the human psyche that’s too complex, and in my opinion, quite subjective. You can never be objective with love or else it’ll end up nowhere.

Like what I told others, to be in love is to be vulnerable, or as i call it, a state in which you will and forever be in constant weakness. Love will fuck up your mind. It will change everything you’ve built for years- if not destroy it. Love will make you do things- both rational and, most of the time, irrational. Love is beyond infatuation nor attraction. Love is not the same as intimacy, but a mere expression of it. Sex is not love if done with the wrong person. I know, I may not be the right person to say this, but I still believe true love waits. But if you can’t, well, be  man or woman enough to live by the consequences.

Call me a hopeless romantic, or perhaps drop the second word and leave me with hopeless. But that’s just what love is in the end. A constant state of vulnerability and weakness.

(I was supposed to save this topic for the last day, but since circumstances came and made me do this early)

On my way to DLSU to attend the WG post-halloween party, there were 3 rugby boys (2 sitting in front of me and the other beside me sitting on the jeep’s stairs) with me riding on the jeep to Espana. They were happy singing along to the Filipino rap song playing on the radio and being rowdy as kids are.

But seeing them, made me think. How come at a young age they’ve found themselves being addicts. How come at such a young age they’ve discovered the harsh realities of life? Where are their parents? their families? I’m pretty sure if the great Jose Rizal would have been alive in this time, he’d be complete and utterly disappointed at us.

How come we have allowed ourselves to let these youth to go to waste since as Rizal would say, the youth is the hope of the nation. These kids could have been the next Manny Pacquiao, the future Lea Salonga, or perhaps the new Jose Rizal. But, sadly, because of this we will never know.

What is the government doing to help these unfortunate kids? I know economic progress doesn’t happen overnight, but i hope and pray that they are doing something- especially with the education sector. I can’t point fingers at anyone for not doing anything, for I haven’t done anything to help them- at least for tonight like what that little voice at the back of my head was saying. I didn’t. I didn’t bother giving them any food like what I usually do when I see kids like them. So I hope with this entry, it reaches someone who could and will do something about it.

It’s funny how in 3 months you’ve seen your life change for the good- if not the better, and yet with one truth, in a matter of one moment, one day, one month,  you see all of it crumble into dust.

Certain truths are meant to be kept indefinitely while some of it are just waiting for the right moment to come out. But some secrets you would prefer not to be told at all, not because it wouldn’t set you free but because it will pain you so much you’d rather live in lies and denials instead.

In the end, be careful of what you wish for, cause you might just actually get more than you wished for, or simply because you just can’t handle them.

Regrets.

They come in different forms. In different circumstances. For various reasons. It can be for things one should’ve done. Or for words one should shouldn’t have said. Or for opportunities one left unseized.

Time is ephemeral. Once it passes you by, you can’t take it back. So if that right moment comes, grab it.

Or forever delve in the oblivious realm of should’ve, could’ve and would’ve. Coz as that saying goes, you wouldn’t know what you have ‘til it’s gone.

my friend Laziness dropped by that’s why I wasn’t able to do the first entry for One-sided Conversations.

God. I really suck at this.

Epic Fail.

I was just watching watching Gossip Girl earlier while I was feeding the dogs (yes kids, I do watch that show. I do need some drama in my life too- not that I have none of it, if you know what i mean) and it made me realize how cool, awesome and insightful their voice-over monologues at the start and end of their shows go, like at Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill (but since Lucas isn’t part of the show anymore, I’ll be expecting sucky monologues from OTH starting season 7) and Grey’s Anatomy.

So with that, I thought why not have one for my own? Of course I wouldn’t expect a voice to begin talking just before I go to sleep because, come on, that would be just plain scary; moreover, hearing your own voice, right? But in some way, I’ll be doing my best Dr. Doogie Howser (that’s Barney Stinson to you guys) impersonation and start blogging before I go to sleep about a realization I’ve gained throughout the day. It’s not some sort of a diary wherein I’ll merely restate what happened throughout the day, but more like my thoughts, experiences and realizations I’ve gained. so technically this entails more observation for me too.

With this, One-sided Conversations is born. I’ll be doing this project for a month and let’s see where it’ll take me. If ever I lose the inspiration to write about, well there’s always Tumblr to gain inspiration or set me in the right mood. I’m pretty sure I’ll find something to write about here (that’s why I chose this platform rather than my usual blogging spot at Multiply).

Actually now that I’m writing this, I realized that I’ve been doing this in the past but through conversations with a friend of mine, but because of some issues we stopped. So I guess I could continue it in spite of me knowing it’ll be just me talking and no one would reply (since tumblr has true reply feature without reblogging the entry), thus the title “One-sided Conversations”.

Anyway that’s all for now. I’ll try to start today, but I’m starting to get lazy typing this one out so I’ll start tomorrow.

If you want to check it out follow: http://one-sidedconversations.tumblr.com/